Thursday, December 29, 2005

Auld Lang Syne

I just saw this over on the NWAC site and had to cross post it, much better than anything I could ever write:

It’s three days before the end of the year,
And recent snows have changed gloom to cheer...
With more on the way spirits are soaring-
For the weather ahead will be anything but boring.

After a day of drying, the westerlies arrive,
And Friday promises to shift park to drive;
Heavy snow, high winds, we’ll break but not bend,
Just need to get through a brief warming trend.

The easterly flow will help near the crest,
And will minimize the rain for we feel that’s best,
As we close out the year and start out 06,
The weekend ahead looks snowy and brisk...

So enjoy the storms and the ones beyond those,
But stay aware of the danger and don’t get hosed-
Keep checking for clues wherever you go,
For it’s hard to enjoy if you’re under the snow.

Well, I am hopeful that we will (w)ring out the old [snow pack] and bring in the new [freeshies] this weekend. Now anyone paying attention this year knows that the forecasting has been, much like this stupid blog, a bit erratic. So all of this must be taken with a bit more salt than usual. However, this is the deal for the moment: A new front is supposed to move in to the area tonight/tomorrow and bring in some ample precipitation. On that matter I believe most forecasters agree. The key component here is what will the snow levels do. This is where things break down a bit. I believe that it will start low, and raise on Friday coming back down on Saturday, and staying down hopefully for awhile. So how high will it rise? Well, one forecast has said it will stay at or below pass levels, meaning constant snow in the resorts and ski areas, others have said it will go as high as 7000 on Friday. Generally speaking they keep revising forecasts to lower the snow levels. With all this in mind this is what I think

Thursday Night: Snow Turning to Rain Late
Friday: Rain
Friday Night: Rain turning to Snow
Saturday: Snow mixed with rain early, then snow.
Saturday Night: Snow
Sunday: Snow
Monday: Snow
I think there will be a good chance for some New Years Eve Skiing and that the snow will just get better into the weekend and Monday.

Longer term: Potential for more consistent low snow levels and ample moisture into Mid January, maybe a brief period of drying out, but expected to be minor.

In reality who knows so ski it when you can.

Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Holiday Fruitcake

Happy Holidays!

 

Farewell my esteemed SC followers. This may be my last post. The tempest has been unleashed and the waters are rising. I have finished my arc and loaded up two of everything: 2 skis, 2 telemark bindings, 2 gloves, 2 boots, 2 poles and 2 cases of beer. It may seem like it will never snow again, but I know deep in my heart that once this tempest has unleashed it's worst, it will get cold and the snow will fly once more, and I will be ready! In the mean time I would suggest practicing your doggie paddle, because you ain't getting in my boat.

 

Apparently some cold mass over Quebec is moving east to Greenland causing a shift in global weather bringing warm moist air in to the west. I don't know why this is happening but looking back to my previous post I have to wonder if there is a connection. Although I will point out that the models are not in complete agreement, two show this happening while the third and more aggressive of the models shows a ridge building. Either way it is no good. What started out as a great snow pack is just getting hammered right now. With the amount of rain we have gotten in the last 24 hours it has got to be like a sponge up there. The snow level is dropping a bit today and tonight with a little drying out tomorrow, so if you happen to have some free time tomorrow I would suggest making a trip up, it may be your last chance for a few weeks. Seriously it doesn't look good. This is one of those times where I hope to God I am wrong, but unfortunately we all know SC is pretty much batting 1000 right now. Oh the curse of always being right.

 

I am sorry to be stuffing coal up your stocking, even if it feels like I am really stuffing up some other location. I really wish I was telling you to put up the Holiday Tree on the mountain because that's where you will be all weekend, but no luck. Stay home watch some football, drink some beer, get fat and lazy like the rest of America. I also apologize for such lame posts lately, it's hard to be funny and creative when you're bummed.

 

So here's to hoping 2006 will be a good year,

 

Have a safe and happy holiday

 

SC

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Luau Time

Recently Quebec hosted the most recent round of talks on Global Climate change. The main purpose of the meeting was to plan the post Kyoto treaty years, and how the world will deal with the issue of Global Warming.

 

Most of us remember that the wonderful US of A did not ratify the Kyoto Treaty protocol on global warming. What may be surprising is that we were joined by Australia, in rejecting the international treaty. Continuing that thread it was no surprise that the US didn't officially join these recent talks. There was an envoy there, but it consisted of very low-level personnel, there solely to observe. In contrast I believe Vice President Al Gore attended the original Kyoto talks. A big shift. However the real surprise this time was that the US was alone in not attending, Australia broke ranks (read couldn't be bribed out of going) and attended. Once again we go it alone.

 

What's the US's deal? Well all of this boycotting has been in the name of Economics. It is the position of the current administration that carbon reduction will hurt our economy. Meanwhile the dollar is getting its ass kicked by countries who have ratified the treaty, Detroit is being beaten by Asian and European car makers who are putting out more fuel efficient cars, just like they did in the '70s during the oil embargo. What has been the US's response?: More fossil fuel development. Yesterday the House stuck funding for drilling in the Alaska Wildlife Refuge onto a Pentagon bill, passing there, and sending it to the Senate where leaders are promising to send it to the President.  Shameful, and depressing. And that is not even touching the whole war in Iraq and oil supplies.

 

This has lead to the Inuit of Alaska filing a lawsuit in Federal Court against the US government for violation of Human Rights. Claiming (rightfully so in SC's view) that the lack of action, and stubborn ignorance of scientific evidence is leading to continued global warming, affecting their way of life and even their very existence, hence violating their basic Human Rights. It makes me happy, and very interested to see how this will work out. Maybe our froofy drink lawyer friend can really be useful, and give us a run down on the merits of the case instead of bashing poor old SC?

 

All this has you wondering I am sure what is going here, this is the SC blog, usually a much more local look at the weather on and around Mt Hood Oregon, not a political think tank. Well, right you are. However, looking at the forecast for the next 14 days has me thinking of pulling my Hawaiian shirts out of the closet. Looks like Santa is sending us our holiday moisture via the Pineapple express. Snow levels are currently being forecasted to hit 11,000' after Christmas. This all has me thinking that I should see about having Margarita get me listed as a co-complainant on that lawsuit, as I am really feeling like my human rights are being violated. Skiing is part of my existence. With all the gas money we have been saving by not driving to the mountain, I figure we can get a pretty good retainer going for a lawyer. You can contribute to the Snow Curmudgeon via paypal, or just find me at the local pub, I'll be the one in the Hawaiian shirt crying into my beer.

 

Happy Holidays, bah humbug!

 

SC

 

Monday, December 12, 2005

Loss of Faith


In these Holiest of Days, we are oft reminded of the magnificence and beauty of God, and all the miracles which he has created. Well God, it is time to wake up and get to work, because you are losing one of your flock. Ok I was never really one of the flock, more a wolf in sheep's clothing, ok, ok I 'm not even in sheep's clothing. I am a blasphemer, but still, there are plenty of God loving/fearing people on snow, why can't God step up to the plate for them? It has always been my plan to use a loophole in religion to ensure myself entrance into the life eternal above. See, I figured that as long as someone who loves me is a good Christian their Heaven will be incomplete without me, so for them to truly be in heaven I must be there. Hence my Mother is my one-way ticket to the great beyond, where everyone Tele's and there's waist deep powder every run with no lift lines. But in the mean time I have been relying on all the rest of the good Christians out there to be sure God treats us right and ensures an ample supply of the pow pow to get me through this lifetime. So what gives? Who's f'n up out there? Whoever you are, you better get cracking.

 

Enough proselytizing, what's up with the snow? Well for those of you living in a shell, we have been experiencing the dreaded INVERSION. This weird phenomena here in the lower Willamette Valley where these clear nights, cloudy mornings and the cold desert air blowing through the Gorge manage to keep it colder in town than up in the mountains. With this in mind old SC headed up to the BC to hunt some stashes of powder and earn some turns. Was I successful? You bet. I found a nice N exposure cut that has some cold fresh powder waiting for me. The only downside is when I got to the sno park, my worst nightmare ever was realized. There were two sledheads there, and we all know I hate snowmobiles more than anything. But to make it even worse, they were loading SNOWBOARDS! Why does God continue to punish me, oh that's right I am a blasphemer, so much for my loophole. Well besides the fact that these lazy ass mofos needed their sleds to make the approx. 1 mile hike in, and that they sno-shoed all over the nice skin track making me lay a new one, it was a nice day skiing. Oh that's right, I also had to deal with hearing that crappy music that Meadows plays at the base of Vista. Has anyone else noticed how bad that music is? It is like some 80's soft rock music my Mom (bless her for loving me) listens to. Yet I digress, or forget what I am saying. Oh it was a good time. Oh yeah, I skied to about 1pm when the snow started softening as the inversion continued to spread, and I could see Meadows in full sun, meaning all fresh snow was pretty much gone. I did also go up on Sunday, and actually had a great time skiing. Once it warmed up, the snow softened nicely, and it was like skiing in May. Heather was open and I got my first official* Heather runs in two years. The downside: It is December and NOT MAY. It should be snowing. I don't care if Danimal says no more complaining about snow, there is still no real precip in the forecast. I am pissed. Period. Oh and to make matters worse the inversion is passing on so it will be nothing but frozen snow on the mountain until we get some precip. Maybe on Sunday. Whatever, I have lost faith in these weather barons. I expected that sacrifice to last a little longer. Hmm, maybe Zaphino wasn't enough, anyone know how to get a hold of Al Roker?

 

 

Start praying,

 

SC

 

*I hiked into heather last year for some unofficial runs, shh don't tell meadows.

 

 

 

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

TV Timeout

Either you all have stopped reading the blog a long time ago, or you have been patiently waiting for my next post. I know I stopped reading it, so I don't blame you all for stopping too. And I am sorry to report that this post won't be much better. Not sure what to write to make you all happy. I thought the sacrificial post was pure genius, but apparently I way underestimated the dedication to snow of many of the readers. For shame. Where does that leave me then? Mocking Danimal for being fat is way old and cliché (really it's too true to be funny) and we all know my feelings on boarders. Frankly I am a little tired of bitching, oh Christ, now I am bitching about bitching, it's tough being the Curmudgeon. I guess it is all I can expect after having an incredible weekend only to see a Saharan like forecast for the next ten days. Sigh... Hard to find inspiration there. Rumor has it Heather Canyon will open today, and Skibowl is already open, all before mid December. Not bad, I should be happy right, but I am not. Curse this society that has turned me into a greedy person who just wants more more more. I can't be happy with what I have, or even be patient for what will surely come. Sigh... tears...streams...

 

I came here all prepared to issue my list of grievances from the weekend, but really, who cares? I was also hoping to have some pics from Bro-Mate to put some stoke on the blog, but he's been busy, so I will add them when I can. As for my weekend, the Danimal and I skied all day Friday, the snow was great (not quite epic) and it just snowed all day long, nice and cold champagne snow. And by the afternoon people had cleared out and we were just running laps on Shooting Star. A damn nice day. Saturday I had a cross race (finished second, won a bottle of wine), so I skipped out on the madness that I am sure Meadows was, although I did hear the snow was good, how could it not be? Sunday I was graced with the presence of Broman (welcome back bro) and Mav, a new Telemarker who rips it up. We skied all day, non-stop from 9-4. So much fun. Found some new stashes, and some great powder runs. Seemed like the longest day of skiing ever, but in a good way.

 

And now here we are, Wednesday and no real precip in sight (sure there are showers forecast for today, but that don't count). Apparently that same ridge that popped up before Thanksgiving is back. Damn thing. They are forecasting it to be here for 10-14 days, and it looks like we will be dry through next Thursday maybe? The bright side? It will stay relatively cool, so our base may not get hit too hard. I also saw the most recent 30-90 day forecast and they are still calling for heavy mountain snows with low snow levels at least through January, and most likely through March. In the mean time might I suggest working on your conditioning so you don't call me to bail on skiing with the lame excuse that "my mind says yes but my body says no"? Or take this time to do all your Holiday shopping and getting all those errands done that would normally keep you from the mountain so you are ready to hit it hard when it comes. Who am I kidding, I'll be drinking my sorrows away, and you all know that.

 

Snow Curmudgeon

 

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Weekend Forecast

Happy December all! It is only the first of December and already we have close to a 6' base. I know, I keep digging this back up, but just about a year ago meadows was ready for opening day, and it monsooned all weekend long, delaying opening day. As a matter of fact it was a year ago, that the Vet and the Boy Toy baptized me as the Snow Curmudgeon. I believe it was after I laughed at her for thinking meadows was going to open as planned in the basement of Laura and Mindy's old house. So here's to hoping the second year as SC is better than the first. So far it looks much better-

The forecast:

Well, the snow in town will not happen (I looked out the window for that one), but fear not my precious ones, it is snowing in the mountains. The current storm fronts moving in look to be heading into the Northern OR Cascades, meaning Mt Hood is going to get slammed today and through tomorrow night. That means tomorrow and Saturday are the days to hit it. A warning though, bundle tight, looks to be gusty, up to 40mph, the next couple of days. Looks like by Saturday night things will be shifting a bit North to give our brethren in WA a chance for some fresh, Sunday will be sloppy seconds in bounds, but probably still good and cold.

The other big news of the weekend is Skibowl opens for night skiing today. They will only have the lower lifts running, but hope to have the upper bowl going by tomorrow. I'd give it another week or two, they still only have 26" at mid mountain.

The year is off to a good start, but while we are talking about anniversaries, I would like to point out that two years ago the winter started off real strong, big heavy cold snows, Meadows opened a week before Turkey day, Heather was open around X-mas/New Years, and by January 5th it was dry as a bone and stayed that way well into March/April*, so appreciate it now, hit it hard, because tomorrow global warming may rear it's ugly head.

Drive like an angel, drink like the devil, and ride the boards like you'd ride the girl next door,

SC

*Right now I can hear some of you saying "I can't believe he remembers the weather like this, what a freak, what, does he keep a weather journal?", should but don't, I can't even write, I remember two years ago as I broke my leg the day before opening day, and got out of the cast a week before it all dried up, so I remember that well, as for anything before that, let's just say it was eliminated by all the White Russians at Potlatch '03.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Epic (ep'ik) n. [Gr. epos, a word, song, epic] a long narrative poem in a dignified style about the deeds of a hero or heroes- adj. of or like an epic; heroic; grand

I heard this word many times on Saturday as people tried to describe the day. It got me wondering, what exactly does epic mean, and what makes a day on the mountain epic?

I am sure many of you, well, maybe some, first learned of an epic in grade school when studying Homer, and reading the Iliad and the Odyssey. I know I remember making dioramas from that famous epic. Mine was on the golden fleece. Those stories are Epics. No doubt about it. The Slaying of cyclops, stealing sirens, sleeping with sheep, the kind of material that they teach for centuries.

So when it comes to skiing, what makes it all epic? Instead of writing a nice Epic about it, I did some thinking and developed 3 criteria that you can use to determine if a day on the mountain is epic. Before I delve into it, I need to mention the "the Dude's principle of epic relativity" simply put, epic conditions in one place may not be epic in another. Two inches of slush on a sloped field may be Epic in Florida, but don't try that here. This is important as we look at the three factors of Epicicity:

#1: Snow- Seriously! I know, it's as obvious as THC in a boarders blood, but hear me out. There are two facets to a potential day of epic snow. The first is new snow fall. You have to have some nice fresh snow to ski. For the NW, I would say that a minimum of 18" of fresh since closing with a max temperature of 26 deg., in the Rockies, you better have over 2 1/2' and no warmer than 15 degress. The other side of the snow facet is the base. You can have a lot of snow, but if all you do is ski over rocks, forget it. (note: this eliminates any and all day last year, even if I said they were epic last year) So here we want atleast five feet of solid snow below the fresh.

#2: Weather- The conditions for the day must be good all day long. I think there are two possibilities here. One is a crisp Blue Bird day, where the snow stays cold and light and but the sun shines, one that is very rare here. The other is a continual dump with a light wind that covers almost all the tracks, but not so bad as to limit vision. How hard it has to snow depends on the third and final factor:

#3- Crowds- For a truly Epic day, one of Homeric proportions, there must be minimal crowds. This is a fine line, no pun intended, you don't want it so empty that all you do is ride right up to the next chair. No one can last all day in epic conditions like that, and it can get a little lonely. What is ideal is just enough people that you have to wait in line for no more than 2-3 rows of people, just enough to get a rest and rave how good it is with the other skiers around you, and you can hoot and holler while skiing and hear others doing the same all day long, because you will all know you are experiencing something special.

When, and only when all three of these conditions exist, will you be able to tell all your friends honestly, that it was an epic day on the mountain, and one where you will be telling your grandchildren about as you sit in your nursing home rocking chair. Most of us will never see an an epic day, but I just know that when it happens, I'll know, and you'll all be the first to hear about it.

As for the forecast:

Things are looking good this week. Snow levels are low, real low, below 300 almost all week, and decent precip to go with it. Could be a nice weekend, so free up your schedule and get ready to ski. Looking to next week, it may warm up a bit, 4-5500' but looking wet still. We'll have to keep an eye on that snow level, it could go either way.

Thursday, November 24, 2005


Gobble Gobble


Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

I saw something strange in the sky this morning. I was up early and look out to see the stars and the moon, but something was blocking part of the view.
" what could it be?" I wondered aloud.

Is it a flock of birds heading South for the winter, it is cold outside, or Perhaps it is a plane? Or Could it be a UFO? Oh, I know what they are, they're called clouds! Puffy white and grey floating through the sky. I have not seen something so pretty in quite sometime. It truly is a day to be thankful.

Don't eat too much, got fit into that purple on-piece tomorrow, and fight the crowds at the resort. But it is supposed to Snow tonight, and tomorrow, and as a matter of fact there is snow in the forecast everyday for the next week. And levels will be nice and low, coming down as much as 1500'. Good news for sizable. I'll believe it when I see it.

I hope you all have a happy thanksgiving,


SC

Sunday, November 20, 2005

End of My Rope


It's only November 20, and already I am despodant. Some people have SAD (Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder), yet I am cursed with the antithisis Sunlight Affected Temper And Nurosis(SATAN). I get really angry after October 15th if it's Sunny for more than a day. So you can imagine what I must be like right now. OK for those that know me there is no imagining, actually I seem like I always do, but I know the difference damnit, and I am pissed. Heads must roll. To give you an idea of how bad it is, I have started checking Weather.com for the 10 day forecast for Govy, just for any hope of an end this infernal sunshine. I k now Weather.com! Come on who checks that drivel for forecasts, might as well read the farmers almanac!

It's also getting into my dreams. No shit, I am dead serious here, I had a dream that it rained even when the forcast called for sun, but no it rained, and in my dream I was frantically trying to find out if it was snowing on the mountain, but I wasn't near a computer, and both the Meadows sno fone and NOAA weather line were busy. I was going nuts. Damn, did I just share too much?

Well no rain today, and all there is to look forward to this week is some showers maybe on Friday with an 8000' snow level. Looks like next Monday, the 28th might have some precip, but it looks like it may be warm still. So I am thinking it is time we take matters into our own hands. Back in the day, when there was a drought or something people assumed that some god was pissed at them, and they needed to do something to make it right. The most powerful thing they could do to apepase their pagan god was human sacrifice. The general modus operandi was to feed some virgin to a Volcano or some prehistoric beast, such as King King, or the Kracken. Now we don't have a Kracken, but maybe we could pass Danimal off as King Kong, he's hairy enough, and looked to be getting big enough at the Pink Party (well, not tall enough, but he has the other dimensions down). But on second thought I couldn't do that to any Virgin, plus I don't know any Virgins, and if I did I wouldn't waste her on some sacrifice. What I think we need to do is sacrifice one of these damn wanna be weathermen who are obviously pissing off Snow Miser by thinking they can "predict" the weather. You know, give them the chance at some self realization of their prediciton of a "normal" winter. And I have the perfect plan. I just need a couple of accomplices, I mean fellow High Priests or Priestesses of Snow Miser. Here's the plan:

The Target: Who better than Matt Zaphino
The 411: Every thanksgiving Matt flaps his gums as the honorary turkey at the Turkey Trot at the Zoo. The race begins at 9:00am. All we need is a van, and three High Priests(esses), I will run behind Matt, and as we work our way down towards the Rose Garden, the van will be parked on the side of the road, as we approach, me and two of the Order of Snow Curmudgeon will grab and bag Matt into the van. Then we will drive him up to Timberline Lodge, where we will hijack a snow cat and drive up the mountain and sacrifice the infidel to Lord Snow Miser while singing his song:
Here Mister Snow Miser
Make it 20 below
Here Mister Snow Miser
Make it Snow Snow Snow
Here Mister Snow Miser
You're too much
Here Mister Snow Miser
He'll freeze with your touch!

Then we'll drive back to Portland have a big thanksgiving dinner, wax our boards and go spend the night in the Meadows lot and be the first one's there to ski the unexpected Blizzard of 2005!!!

Sweet!

So, who's in?

SnowCurmudgeon

P.S. Is it illegal to plot to sacrifice someone on the internet? Just incase, everyone who reads this agrees to an oath of secrecy. Phew, I feel better now.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Report for 11/14/05

Welcome to ski season 2005/06! By looking outside you can see it is off to an auspicious beginning, and the forecast doesn’t look any better. If you ignore the temperatures, it looks like August for the next seven days, Morning clouds and afternoon sun. If you are like me, or aspiring to be like me (which you should be) you too are wondering what’s up with that. Well you are in luck, as you have turned to the right place. First though I need to address some questions I have had recently, mainly, does the SC really know anything about weather, or am I just making it all up. A question commonly asked of all meteorologists, professional and amateur alike. It is just this kind of constant questioning and second guessing that makes our lot particularly tough skinned. The answer of course is I know what I am talking about, and making it up as I feel fit. It is kind of like playing God in a way, except for the small detail of not being able to actually control the weather, details, details. Rest assured dedicated readers, you can consider the word of the Snow Curmudgeon gospel, and if you are still not convinced, just ask me sometime, I will be glad to explain the ERF models, Western Troughs, the effects of ocean currents, and how a butterfly wing beat in Asia can cause a Hurricane.

As for the important stuff, i.e. when is it going to snow again? Well, even with the short term forecast looking bleak, there are no real signs of a long term or permanent drying out at this at this time. As a matter of fact it still looks like we can expect heavy mountain snows by the end of November. Remember, the long range forecasts all called for wet weather with periods of drying out, and being in the transition period now, we are just seeing a temporary reaction to the changing weather pattern. I would think that by next Tuesday or Wednesday we will be back to being wet. In the mean time, work on your tan, and rake those leaves while you still can. And if you are really jonesin for some skiing, you may find some nice spring like conditions up on Cascade this week. No kidding, Cascade open in Novemeber….Does this sound bright and cheerful? Well it is Monday, by Friday I will be back to my doom and gloom.

SC

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


Game On....or Delay of Game?

What is the old saying about history repeating itself? I don't know but I don't like it.

Well, being the faithful Snow Curmudgeon that I am, I ventured up to Meadows on Saturday to see how things looked. Get a sneak preview so to speak. As David Waag said, "The first tour of the winter is always exciting but sometimes it is difficult to let go of the safety of Fall." and that is how I felt Saturday. Not really ready to face winter, but fear not, I had my emergency cajones in my pack to give me that extra boost. How was it you ask? Well, it looks pretty good, compared to last year. But then again, almost everything looks good comapred to last year. As I was skiing around, I unfortunately find myself thinking about last year. And what the chances are of another horrible winter, is it really the same?. Hmmm I wonder, let's see here, for one Tree is still an evil wench, two, last year I went skiing a week before the planned opening day, and we all remember what happened then, no? Let me refresh, we had just about 3' of snow, and the day before opening a warm front came through and the rain melted all the snow. But that was crazy right? That can't happen again can it? But wait I did just go skiing a week before opening, there is just about 3' of snow, let's check the forcast...

.WEDNESDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLEAR. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 12000 FEET
LOWERING TO 11000 FEET AFTER MIDNIGHT. PASS WINDS SOUTHWEST 5 TO 15
MPH.
.THURSDAY...MOSTLY CLOUDY. RAIN LIKELY NORTH...AND A CHANCE OF RAIN.
SNOW LEVEL LOWERING TO 8000 FEET. PASS WINDS SOUTHWEST 10 TO 15 MPH.
.THURSDAY NIGHT...SHOWERS LIKELY. SNOW LEVEL 6000 FEET LOWERING TO
5500 FEET AFTER MIDNIGHT. PASS WINDS SOUTHWEST 10 TO 20 MPH.

Two Words: Oh Shit!

What is the old saying about history repeating itself? I don't know but I don't like it.

Keep hoping....

SC

Friday, November 04, 2005

SNUBBED!!!!

Dear Readers,

I am sure all of you are as dismayed as I am. I spent the last few weeks working on my presentation for this morning's "13th Annual What Will the Winter Be Like" meeting sponsored by the Oregon Chapter of American Meteorological Society. Yeah, I know I am not a meteorologist, so I wasn't thinking they wanted my forecast for the winter, but I am a shoe in for the "Winter 2005 in review" presentation. I mean come on, who better to give a review of that abysmal year than yours truly, the SNOW CURMUDGEON? But Nooooo, they have Mark Nelson, the TV personality forecaster from FOX 12. Yes, that's right, FOX 12, as in Ruppert "I make Dick Cheney Look Like a Liberal" Murdoch's FOX. So my original plan was to go and heckle the crap out of the guy. I was gonna bring some water to throw at him every time he Rain, and some down feathers for when he said snow, you know a kind of "tar and feathering" of the guy, but then I was thinking that it would be an even better message if I just boycotted it, THEN I had the great idea that I should just do my own "What Will the Winter Be Like" presentation, right here, for the people that matter, the poor uneducated folks, not some insider fancy elite meeting. (ok I admit, I only didn't go because I forgot my bike lock today and couldn't lock my bike up at OMSI).

So here goes; What Will the Weather Bring:

First let's review 2005:
It was Crap

OK, now let's look at Winter 2006:
As a special feature, and to out do those snooty AMS guys, I got Portland's very own Matt Zaphino to give his winter forecast. Take it away Matt:

"Thanks SC, I am predicting that this winter we will see temps cooler than summer, with partly to mostly cloudy skies with a chance of rain in the valley and snows at higher elevations. Which reminds me, this weekend I will be live on site at the 2005 skin and snow.."

Uh, thanks Matt, that's enough. Ok so maybe Matt was a bad choice. Well let's see what I can do. It seems that most people seem to be saying that we will have near normal to above normal precip and temps. A lower chance of snow in the valley, but ample snows in the Mts. It will be wet with some short dry periods, and extreme weather events, such as big rains, wind storms on the coast etc.. Some folks such as state Climatologist, George "I don't believe in GLobal warming" Taylor are comparing it to the Winter of '95-96. Now I wasn't here that winter, I was serving our country as a Peace Corps volunteer in Paraguay, where it was so fucking hot, and they made us wear pants to class everyday, and walk to and from school up this big ass hill in 100+ degree heat, no wonder we always stopped halfway up that hill at Spinzi's bar and got piss drunk, ah those were the days, oh yeah forecast. Shit, I lost my train of thought, ah no ones listening anymore any way.

What really matters right now is that it is SNOWING in the mountains. Meadows has 19" at the base right now and they are calling for 16-28" inches throughout the weekend. There will be a warming trend moving through Saturday afternoon/evening, then snow levels will drop again, and looks like they will stay down with snow showers during the week and another front coming in maybe next Thursday. SO far so good. I will predict an opening day of November 19th. But being the Curmudgeon that I am, maybe we shouldn't count our eggs just yet, this hen may turn out to be a rooster after all. So I will warn that the past two years started big, and then faded out, so let's stay calm and relaxed.

In the mean time, you might want to swing those boards over to the Mt Shop for some preseason tuning. It is worth it. Or you can pay me and I will have my trained monkey do it in my garage. He'll do just as good a job too.

Keep it Real

SC


The Weekend's Forecast:
...SNOW ADVISORY IN EFFECT UNTIL 10 PM PST THIS EVENING...

.TODAY...SHOWERS IN THE MORNING...THEN SNOW AND RAIN IN THE
AFTERNOON. WINDY. SNOW LEVEL 3500 FEET. SNOW ACCUMULATION 4 TO 8
INCHES. PASS WINDS SOUTHWEST 15 TO 30 MPH. GUSTS TO 45 MPH IN THE
AFTERNOON.
.TONIGHT...SHOWERS. SNOW LEVEL 3500 FEET. SNOW ACCUMULATION 3 TO 5
INCHES. PASS WINDS SOUTHWEST 10 TO 15 MPH.
.SATURDAY...RAIN WITH SNOW INCREASING. WINDY. IN THE NORTH...SNOW
LEVEL 3500 FEET RISING TO 4500 FEET IN THE AFTERNOON. IN THE
SOUTH...SNOW LEVEL 5000 FEET RISING TO 6500 FEET IN THE AFTERNOON.
SNOW ACCUMULATION 6 TO 12 INCHES. PASS WINDS SOUTHWEST 15 TO 30 MPH.
.SATURDAY NIGHT...RAIN...WINDY. RAIN MAY BE HEAVY AT TIMES. SNOW
LEVEL 7000 FEET. PASS WINDS SOUTH 15 TO 30 MPH.
.SUNDAY...SHOWERS LIKELY. SNOW LEVEL 4500 FEET. PASS WINDS SOUTHWEST
10 TO 20 MPH.
.SUNDAY NIGHT...SHOWERS LIKELY. SNOW LEVEL 4000 FEET.
.MONDAY...SHOWERS LIKELY. SNOW LEVEL 4000 FEET.
.MONDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS. SNOWLEVEL 3000 FEET.
.TUESDAY...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SHOWERS. SNOW LEVEL 3000
FEET.
.TUESDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SHOWERS. SNOW LEVEL
4000 FEET.
.WEDNESDAY...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SHOWERS. SNOW LEVEL 5000
FEET.
.WEDNESDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF RAIN. SNOW LEVEL
5500 FEET.
.THURSDAY...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF RAIN. SNOW LEVEL 5500
FEET.

&&
TEMPERATURE / PRECIPITATION
GOVERNMENT CAMP 34 32 40 35 38 / 100 90 100 100 70
WILLAMETTE PASS 33 29 38 35 37 / 80 80 100 100 70

Monday, October 31, 2005

Trick or Treat!

Yes it is now a new year (the rain year starts October 1st) and Snow Curmudgeon has his own blog, only about 5 years behind the times, I should have just skipped the blog and gone straight to podcasting. That's probably not even that new either huh?

First off, I have been working on this for awhile now, and have painstakenly recreated as much of the history of Snow Curmudgeon Reports as possible. Feel free to peruse the archives, and relive those wonderful memories. Oh wait, last year's snow season sucked, maybe we shouldn't go there. Instead let us look onward, to the future....

Well it is now November, which means the official start of the ski season, but much like christmas, it starts earlier every year, but just like Santa, it doesn't mean the snow actually comes any earlier (I just got back from Freddy's and the Christmas crap is already up, ugggg). Yet the signs of the season are among us, the new Warren Miller just played intown, I have officially bought my pass (only 3 days left to get your discount) and if you happened to look at the Meadows cam you would ahve seen something we haven't seen there in a loooooong time, SNOW!!! Yes that's right my friends, Meadows got snow this weekend, they were even reporting a 4" base this morning, but looking at the Cam it was clear that you could only get 4" if you scraped all the snow into a pile. But fear not, the snow level is coming back down, let's just hope it is here to stay.

The other exciting news is the realease of my official secret Winter forcast. I swindled access to these forcasts through top secret means (it may not be legal to post them on the web, but hey I am the Snow Curmudgeon, I must post for my fans). It looks promising, yet I am skeptical, and still jaded from last year. I even shaved the beard recently. I can only hope this is accurate. We shall see as the winter progresses. I will continue to post forcasts here as they warrent, and i hope to add some good weather links and such to this page. So check back every now and then, I may get bored and post something, or feel free to heckle me, but remember the rules of the Snow Report, I may not be able to ban you from reading this but I can run you skis or board over in the parking lot!

Looking forward to seeing you on the SLopes!!!

Snow Curmudgeon

The forcast:

There are a number of items and indicators to look at that might
foretell our coming Fall and Winter Season, but I like my tried and true method
of looking at the Global weather pattern and noting the position of the Western Subtropical ridge of high pressure. This tells me more about the weather pattern ahead than any other item. The weather pattern itself reflects all of the other indicators very well, and could certainly be the result of the other indicators.

This year, I feel that we will see a Fall and Winter mode similar to
that of 2001-2002. We have noted similar trends already due to the dry Winter of 2005, so coming out of the Dry Winter, we had a wet Spring, now I think we are faced with a Wet Fall and Winter 2006. I find very little evidence of back to back dry winters, unless you go back and look at the 1930's. We had several then, but in recent history, it is rare to get totally dry back to back winter seasons. For this reason, and others, I think that we are setting up for a Wet Winter. The main reason is the position of the subtropical high, which seems to be located inland over the Western U.S. and the Rockies while the long wave trough position seems to be setting up over the North & Eastern Pacific. This positioning seems to give us a very mild and wet Fall and winter pattern when compared to past events that had a
similar weather pattern in October.

Thus, I am inclined to go with a very mild and Wet Fall season, a cooler and wet Winter, and a cool and unsettled early Spring. I think that we could dry out quickly in the later Spring which would be okay with some of my Hay growers. In fact, if we have a Wet and snowy Winter, we will all be welcoming a dry late Spring!

The ridge over the West, in the Fall, leads to a very wet and active Fall weather pattern. Over the years, I have seen this play out many times as the colder air pools over the North/NE Pacific, and the warmer air sets up over the West. This keeps the Rockies very dry and mild in the early Fall, but leaves the PacNW in a wet mode, along with BC/Alberta and the Northern Rockies too. The jet seems to take on a SW to NE mode which is a mild one too. We have noted this already in the month of October. The pattern is now about to shift into a more active mode with stronger weather systems/features and blustery weather. There is strong evidence that we are about to see some very active Fall weather as the Western Ridge weakens and flattens a bit, allowing a stronger Jet to drop Farther South. This certainly brings in some
active weather, stronger fronts and colder air aloft. All of this adds up
to a much wetter mode for much of the PacNW and BC, but even Northern California gets into the act too. So too, Northern Rockies. I think this mode will certainly help the regional Hydro issues, and get us back some water that we need, and Mtn snows that we need too!

As we go through December, the active jet will keep rainfall going
nicely along with heavy regional Mountain snows. This mode will keep us
guessing as we see systems moving inland rather quickly at times. The long
wave trough will remain over the North/NE Pacific while the mean ridge
stays over the Rockies, but in a much flatter mode.

As we move into the New Year, we will see the pattern shift East. This opens the door to some colder air moving inland from the Gulf/Pacific which will lower snow levels markedly. This pattern should bring some heavy snows inland as well as snow levels down to around 500' or lower in January and February. I believe that we will see a later onset of low elevation snow events as it will take time for the colder air to shift East. Thus, January and February will be our cool and unsettled
months. I am not sure that I would call them Cold due to the Lack of a strong Northerly component of the winds aloft. I can't rule out that we could see brief bursts of colder air and low elevation snows, but I do not believe that we will be that cold, or too cold. The relative flatness of the global pattern right now leads me to believe that we are not under the gun for any significant low level snows. I am sure that we will have a shot or two, but nothing that lasts for any prolonged length of time. If we are to see the cold and snowy mode, Jan-Feb would be the time
from, and perhaps lingering into March. We have seen that in years past, a
mild and wet Fall & January, then our coldest weather arriving later in
the Winter and early Spring. I could see that happening this year, if it
is going to happen, it would be later rather than sooner!

Coming out of the winter mode, I think that the Spring pattern will
be typical, March and April showers with low late season snows. This could be a good mode for most of us, because it will help build the late season snowpack and bring some late season decent rainfall. Once we get into April or May, I think that the overall pattern will begin to dry out, finally. I am bullish on the Fall and Winter rains, which could certainly stay active most of the next 6 months. I am certainly leaning toward above normal amounts on a monthly basis for the period. I am sure that we could see some below normal periods, perhaps February, but even so, it
will be wet. Of course, the heavy rains and snows will help many folks and
get us in position to endure what could be a long dry Summer pattern!

Of concern for me in the longer term, is the potential for a ridge developing upstream over the International Dateline. If this were to happen, it would not get going until December or early January, at that time, we usually see 30-45 days before we see the impact of Arctic air reaching us. This can be verified by looking back at 1978-79-80 and again in 1989 and 1990. In each of those Arctic events, the ridge starting to show up a good 30-45 days prior to the arrival of the bitter cold
air. The daily models and means seem to suggest that we could see a ridge develop out there this winter season. If so, then we will have to watch for some colder air in the Jan-March time frame. I can certainly see us getting colder then, but whether that is Arctic will depend on a number of shifts in the pattern aloft. We could see Arctic air reaching BC, but not the PacNW, or we could see it reach the Rockies, but not the PacNW. Or we could see it reach the PacNW and even California. I will not
go off on this right now, but certainly hint that we need to watch the Dateline over the next 60 days, until then, we look mild and wet at times!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Received from Daniel today:

Subject: Where are you?

What’s this? Snow on the mountain, even if a little, and nothing from our friend, the SC?! Give us something!

Danimal


SC responds:

Dear Mr. Sigman,

Does the Snow Curmudgeon need to remind you of the rules of the Snow Report list? Criticisms of the Snow Curmudgeon are not to be taken lightly, much less tolerated. The snow season, alas, is a long away off, as mentioned in a recent post. And just because it did indeed precipitate on the mountain, at reasonable snow levels, does not mean it is time for a Snow Report. Snow Reports are a matter of inspiration and divine intervention, 3" of snow on rocks in the first weekend of October is neither inspiring nor divine.

This is the time of season the Ski industry loves the best. There are lots of rumors about skiing, and good snow to come. Many people get all excited, then they go out and buy stuff they don't need, especially for the 6 days of skiing they did last year(no names mentioned here). Don't be one of their pawns Mr. Sigman, you've already bought the skis, and the season pass, maybe you need to relax. Find a fall activity, maybe knitting, or garden gnome hunting, anything to distract your nervous ski energy.

In the meantime, Bro-man and SC will be riding our bikes in the mud, biding our time until we are ready to buy our ski pass, and then shred all winter long, at which point we hope not to be asking "where are YOU Mr. Sigman?" Just like last year.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I know, you're thinking what the hell is this? It's been 90 degrees,
and it's August. What could that damn Snow Curmudgeon want?

Attention? yes of ocurse, what did you think this was about
Fame? That'd be nice
Money? Not from you poor bastards

In reality I got up early today to go for a run and it was raining,
wich of course makes me insatntly wonder what the snow level is (too
high for those of you wondering). Then at work today I got an e-mail
with a 90 day forcast (see below). So I couldn't help myself. I am
psyched for skiing, I admit it. I am dreaming of cold windy days
riding my new boards catching freshies and lookign out for the gnar
gnar. And yes I admit that the grey clouds and drizzle that most of
you missed while tucked in your beds dreaming of sugar plumb fairies,
put a faint smile on old SC's face. Winter may be a long way off, but
it is getting closer. And that my friends is reason to celebrate. That
and I have a new job that will pay for a season pass again!

So while we're here, what the hell, let's look at the forcast. I
checked the long range status and while it was last issued in July, it
looks right now like they are calling for normal precip with slightly
above average temps. Sounds ok? Well for reference, at this time last
year they called for slightly above averge precip and rain for the
first half of winter with average precip and below average temps after
January. What did we get? Let's not go there, makes me
sad...tears...streams...

In conclusion, while you're sweating in the sweltering heat that will
mark the remainder of this month, revel in the fact that winter is
getting closer, and know that SC will be watching the sky for that
first glimpse of snow and there to give you the cold honest truth.

Keep it real

Snow Curmudgeon

The 90 day forcast:
The two forecasters diverge somewhat in their predictions. ERF
(Volker) says there'll be no rain until after Labor Day.
Weather-Sphere (Anselmo) thinks we'll get some rain over the next two
weeks: between 0.7" and 5" at Headworks (about 2" being most likely)
and a few hundredths to 1.5" here in Portland. After Labor Day,
ERF's forecast calls for gradually increasing amounts of rain as we
move towards the fall, while Weather-Sphere predicts a shot of rain
the week after Labor Day and then another month of dry weather before
the rains begin in earnest in the second half of October.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Greetings SC readers,

Getting political and stating my views are the norm around here, so why stop now. I assume some of you, like me, received an e-mail from meadows (or maybe 2) asking for input on future development etc... I would like to strongly encourage (I would threat if I could) you to request for no further expansion. What? You may ask, is the SC bonkers?! Well yes, but that is besides the point. I know lift lines suck, people crash into people etc. But I like to look at the bigger picture. Mt Hood is part of our National FOrest system, a system to protect ecotsystems and natural environments for the health of wildlife and for our health (clean air, water all that good stuff). In the past MHM has not been the greatest of stewards in the world. They have been penalized for destruction of wetlands, and dare I say it, Meadows in the ski area. As many of you also know they are still trying to develop the Cooper Spur Area, part of the North Side of Hood, a beautiful and quiet area. If you have ever backpacked or hiked on or around the N. side you will understand how pretty it is, and how important it is. The Cooper spur area also serves as the drinking water for Hood River. Basically Meadows is trying to cash in now before global warming takes all of the snow away. So I beg and plead for you to not ask for expansion of meadows, including increased parking, overnight accomidations, and definitely not more lifts outside of the area. Having hiked the timberline trail around hood and had to hike under chairlifts in summer, I can tell you, it kinda takes the wild out of wilderness.

I now resume you to your normal Forcast, thank you

Snow Curmudgeon.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

The sun is shining the birds are chirping, it can only mean one thing, it's May in Oregon! Wait, that's not right, what the hell?!?! When will this nightmare end? Based on the discussions included at the end of the report, not anytime soon. Sorry kids.

Sunday's skiing was ok, worth the drive. What I want to know is what gives with the racers? Those kids kill me. They make punk boarders look downright civilized, cutting in lines, taking up half of Shooting star, come on. But man I love those skin suits, where can I get me one of them?

Congratulations to Kim for getting in some riding yesterday. It always makes me happy to see one of our own get an enjoyable day on the mountain. Widh I could have joined joined you, but I gotta save those sick days for the "special" moments.

Keep your fingers crossed for the weekend, but I am skeptical. It is only a Slight POP (probability of precipitation), damn split upper trough is causing it all to go way north or way south. Read on for more:

Love,
SC

.SYNOPSIS...A RIDGE OF HIGH PRESSURE OFF THE BC COAST WILL BUILD
INLAND OVER THE PACIFIC NW OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS...WHILE LOW
PRESSURE REMAINS ANCHORED OFF THE CA COAST. OFFSHORE FLOW WILL KEEP
THE REGION DRY THROUGH THE END OF THE WEEK. A SYSTEM DROPPING SOUTH
OUT OF CANADA LATE IN THE WEEKEND BRINGS THE NEXT POSSIBILITY FOR
RAIN.
&&

.SHORT TERM...IR SATELLITE SHOWS UPPER LOW OFF THE CALIFORNIA COAST
AND UPPER HIGH OVER THE NE PACIFIC WATERS. SKIES OVER THE PACIFIC
NORTHWEST ARE CLEAR AND OVERNIGHT TEMPS COOL WITH DRY AIR IN PLACE.
LOWS REACHED INTO THE MID 20S IN THE LOW ELEVATION AREAS. SEE LITTLE
TO CHANGE IN THE SHORT TERM FORECAST AT THIS POINT SINCE DRY
CONDITIONS WILL REMAIN IN THE FORECAST FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS. LOOKING
FOR EAST WINDS TO INCREASE LATER TONIGHT WITH LOW PRESSURE ALONG THE
COAST AND HIGHER PRESSURE SINKING INTO E OREGON.

UPPER TROUGH CURRENTLY STRETCHED BACK TO THE SW FROM CENTRAL CANADA
WILL PULL E TODAY AS MODELS STRENGTHEN THE UPPER HIGH OFF THE BC
COAST...AND BUILD IT SE INTO THE REGION. LOW PRESSURE WILL REMAIN
SOUTH OF THE REGION...OFF THE CA COAST. THIS WILL KEEP THE RAIN WELL
S OF THE REGION. AS THE SURFACE HIGH BUILDS E OF THE CASCADES...
OFFSHORE FLOW WILL WORK TO MAINTAIN A DRY AIR MASS...WHICH SHOULD
PRECLUDE WIDESPREAD FOG DESPITE A DEVELOPING LOW LEVEL INVERSION.

.LONG TERM...NO CHANGES. PREVIOUS DISCUSSION FOLLOWS...
MODELS MAINTAIN A STABLE REX BLOCK THROUGH FRI...BUT BEGIN TO DIVERGE
SOME OVER THE WEEKEND. GFS AND ECMWF INDICATE A SYSTEM DROPPING S OUT
OF CANADA OVER THE WEEKEND...WHILE CANADIAN MODEL MAINTAINS A SPLIT
FLOW. NOT A LIT OF CONFIDENCE IN THE GFS SOLUTION GIVEN THE STABILITY
OF THE PRESENT PATTERN...BUT GIVEN THE SIMILARITIES TO ECMWF...WILL
NEED TO KEEP A LOW POP IN THE FORECAST FROM SAT NIGHT ON.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Greetings friends, worshipers and enemies (there are probably more of you in the latter than former huh?)

Welcome to the SNow Curmudgeon Sno Report for Saturday and SUnday February 12 and 13, 2005. First let me say happy lent, or maybe that isn't suposed to be a happy time? I want to let you all know that I gave up skiing on a decent snow pack for lent, what have you done to show appreciation for all Jesus sacrificed for our sins? Like the new skis I bought, talk about a sin this year!!!

Oh yeah the snow report, well I am going on a guess today, I am sure you have all seen the forcasts for up to 5 inches on Saturday and another 2-3 Saturday night, well I have a bad feeling about this one. For starters I just finished watching the Satellite images and there isn't a lot of moisture out there immediately, so I would not count on much coming in tonight. If you have been followign the forcast you will have noticed how a week ago it was supposed to rain today and tonight, now it is a slight chance of showers after Midnight. My money is on no precip before mid day tomorrow. As for tomorrow night, they seem to be backing off that storm a little each day, so I would not count on this one over producing. All in all by Sunday morning I would say nothing more than 3-4 inches total for Friday, Saturday and Saturday night. To make matters worse, I think the place will be a zoo, everyone is going up there. Oh yeah, the Slight Chance of SNow Showers for Tues-Thursday in the forcast, I think will be eliminated all together in a day or two to just partly cloudy, free air freezing level 11000 feet. so sad.

Sorry I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I am not the Snow CURMUDGEON for nothing. I do think the best snow will be outside the resort, especially on some N facing slopes, can we say Heather Canyon? So if you are on Shooting Star on Sunday you just might find SC hiking up and down Heather doing some laps. Who knows....If you want to hear good news call the meadows sno-fone, 503-227-7669. But what happened to Bart, I haven't heard him in weeks. They must have fired him. So sad.....we miss you Bart, RIP (Rip In Peace). ANd now the "official" forcast....

ORZ011-013-112300-
NORTH OREGON CASCADES-CASCADES OF LANE COUNTY-
INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...GOVERNMENT CAMP...PARKDALE...DETROIT...
SANTIAM PASS...MCKENZIE PASS...MCKENZIE BRIDGE...WILLAMETTE PASS...
OAKRIDGE
938 AM PST FRI FEB 11 2005

.TODAY...MOSTLY SUNNY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 9000 FEET LOWERING TO
8000 FEET IN THE AFTERNOON. PASS WINDS SOUTHEAST 5 TO 10 MPH BECOMING
SOUTHWEST 10 MPH IN THE AFTERNOON.
.TONIGHT...PARTLY CLOUDY EARLY...THEN MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A SLIGHT
CHANCE OF RAIN AFTER MIDNIGHT. SNOW LEVEL 5000 FEET AFTER MIDNIGHT.
PASS WINDS SOUTHWEST 5 TO 10 MPH.
.SATURDAY...SHOWERS EARLY...THEN SNOW SHOWERS LIKELY IN THE
AFTERNOON. COOLER. SNOW LEVEL 4000 FEET LOWERING TO 3500 FEET IN THE
AFTERNOON. SNOW ACCUMULATION 2 TO 5 INCHES. PASS WINDS SOUTHWEST 10
TO 15 MPH BECOMING WEST IN THE AFTERNOON.
.SATURDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS. SNOW
LEVEL 2500 FEET. PASS WINDS SOUTHWEST 10 MPH.
.SUNDAY...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS. A CHANCE OF
SHOWERS IN THE AFTERNOON. SNOW LEVEL 3000 FEET. PASS WINDS NORTHEAST
10 MPH.
.SUNDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SHOWERS. SNOW LEVEL
3500 FEET.
.MONDAY...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF RAIN. SNOW LEVEL 5000 FEET.
.MONDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS. SNOW
LEVEL 4000 FEET.
.TUESDAY...PARTLY CLOUDY WITH A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS. SNOW LEVEL
4500 FEET.
.TUESDAY NIGHT...PARTLY CLOUDY WITH A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS. SNOW
LEVEL 5000 FEET.
.WEDNESDAY...PARTLY CLOUDY WITH A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS. SNOW
LEVEL 5000 FEET.
.WEDNESDAY NIGHT...PARTLY CLOUDY WITH A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS.
SNOW LEVEL 5000 FEET.
.THURSDAY...PARTLY CLOUDY WITH A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS. SNOW LEVEL
5000 FEET.


SC

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Part Two: Face shots and core shots; Snow Curmudgeon takes a sick day

What is that old adage, pity on he/she who has to work on a powder day? Well I would say that still holds true. Yes folks it was rippin on the mountain yesterday. They opened Cascade, which had been untouched all weekend. And old SC was lucky enough to lay some fresh tracks in some deep powder, unfortunately not deep enough all over to sufficiently cover the rocks, but I never said this season would be without casualties. The results: three core shots, but yet we had uncountable face shots. My cheeks are sore from smiling up and down the slopes all morning. Not only was the snow great but the views were stellar. One of the best days of the year, and not a single lift line. Not even once did I have to wait for a chair. Skiing the way it was meant to be, okay minus about 90” of base snow, but let’s not get picky people, when you have a season pass and it dumps you have to go. So for those of you who sat at your computer all day wondering where the Snow Report was, SHAME ON YOU!!!! SC is very very disappointed. Even being from Texas or some other Red state is no excuse. Worried about your gear? COme on there will be some great close outs in a month or two, just buy new stuff, stop being a wuss (Daniel that means you too) and go ski (or board) until you do, no more complaining! I even saw Spidey and Peter up there, and Tree was there in spirit ;)

So I am sure you are thinking: “Oh Snow Curmudgeon I am so sorry! How can I make it up? Is it too late? Can I call in sick tomorrow and regain some respect?” The answer: NO! All that is left are sloppy seconds, and nothing but gnar gnar. You will have to wait until next week…..maybe (see below)

Over and out

SC


NORTH OREGON CASCADES-CASCADES OF LANE COUNTY-
INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...GOVERNMENT CAMP...PARKDALE...DETROIT...
SANTIAM PASS...MCKENZIE PASS...MCKENZIE BRIDGE...WILLAMETTE PASS...
OAKRIDGE
946 AM PST TUE FEB 08 2005

.TODAY...MOSTLY SUNNY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 5000 FEET. PASS WINDS
EAST 10 MPH.
.TONIGHT...PARTLY CLOUDY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 5000 FEET. PASS
WINDS EAST 10 MPH.
.WEDNESDAY...PARTLY SUNNY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 6500 FEET. PASS
WINDS EAST 10 TO 15 MPH.
.WEDNESDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLEAR. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 5500 FEET.
PASS WINDS EAST 5 TO 15 MPH.
.THURSDAY...MOSTLY SUNNY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 7000 FEET. PASS
WINDS EAST 5 TO 15 MPH.
.THURSDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLEAR. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 6000 FEET.
.FRIDAY...MOSTLY CLOUDY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 8000 FEET.
.FRIDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF RAIN OR SNOW. SNOW
LEVEL 6500 FEET.
.SATURDAY...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF RAIN OR SNOW. SNOW LEVEL
4500 FEET.
.SATURDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF RAIN OR SNOW. SNOW
LEVEL 4000 FEET.
.SUNDAY...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF RAIN OR SNOW. SNOW LEVEL
3500 FEET.
.SUNDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF RAIN OR SNOW. SNOW
LEVEL 5500 FEET.
.MONDAY...PARTLY SUNNY WITH A CHANCE OF SHOWERS. SNOW LEVEL 3000
FEET.

&&
TEMPERATURE / PRECIPITATION
GOVERNMENT CAMP 39 22 41 22 42 / 00 10 10 10 10
WILLAMETTE PASS 38 18 41 19 42 / 00 10 10 10 10
Opening Day Take Two; Or How SC was saved by Snowboarders, not quite….

Well for those of you still paying attention to this supposed winter, you knew that Saturday once again heralded the opening of Mt Hood Meadows, and yours truly was there to witness it. By 9:30 am, the lot was almost half full. Daisy and Buttercup were running, while they were just getting the chairs out on Vista, with Cascade not even running. It was snowing off and on, but windy. Seeing the lack of lifts running, SC wisely grabbed his pack, skins, and avy gear and headed off into to BackCountry. OK not really the back country as I initially just skinned over to vista as got some first tracks on slopes there. It was nice ankle-calf deep powder, and light. After a few laps SC noticed that vista chair was running, hence time to boogey out of bounds. So off I went to some nice little slopes I know of just outside the rope. A SC secret if you will. I spent the rest of the day touring around there doing laps up and down a few slopes. Nice fun powder. A pretty darn good day, all things considered. As the day wore down it was time to head back to the car. I decided to take a run down the trees that I like that usually takes me out right behind Vista. When I came to an opening and couldn’t see meadows, I realized I had missed my intended trail. Back came the skins, and a traversing of some circumspect conditions (brush logs, a few cliffs) As SC wondered how far away he was a noise was heard in the distance….obnoxious music, ahhh the lot was close. So down I went, through the woods, a leap over a creek (I had to throw the skis ahead of me) and as I came out into the clearing what do you think I saw? The annex lot, completely empty save one Chevy Bronco, tailgate open, some loud rock blasting and two snow boarders sitting on the tailgate. As I come out of the trees one of them yells over to me and flashes the “hang loose” hand sign, or maybe it was the Texas long horns sign, which is also the sign of the Devil in some European Country, coincidence? I think not!

So you may imagine the experience changed SC’s opinions on Snowboarders, and allowed him to see some usefulness in the world, if for nothing else than a beacon upon which to guide others back to civilization. Well you imagine wrong, if that is civilization or salvation I would prefer to die a cold and lonely death (sounds like my nightlife no?).

Stay tuned for part two: Face shots and core shots; Snow Curmudgeon takes a sick day.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Huh...wha...(yawn), ah...what's that? Something just floated past the Mountain cam, white, small, kind of floating to the gound. Could....it....be.....no no better not even think about it. Can't get my hopes up again. I'm not looking, I'm not looking, not going to the forcast, must resist temptation, can't do it, get away from that mouse! stop that!!! No No I can't bare to see it.

ORZ011-013-042300-
NORTH OREGON CASCADES-CASCADES OF LANE COUNTY-
INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...GOVERNMENT CAMP...PARKDALE...DETROIT...
SANTIAM PASS...MCKENZIE PASS...MCKENZIE BRIDGE...WILLAMETTE PASS...
OAKRIDGE
943 AM PST FRI FEB 04 2005

.TODAY...A CHANCE OF RAIN EARLY...THEN RAIN OR SNOW LIKELY IN THE
AFTERNOON. SNOW LEVEL 6000 FEET...LOWERING TO 5000 FEET IN THE
AFTERNOON. SNOW ACCUMULATION 2 TO 4 INCHES ABOVE PASSES. PASS WINDS
SOUTHWEST 10 TO 20 MPH.
.TONIGHT...SNOW SHOWERS LIKELY. COOLER. SNOW LEVEL 2000 FEET.
ADDITIONAL SNOW ACCUMULATION 1 TO 3 INCHES. PASS WINDS NORTHWEST 10
TO 15 MPH.
.SATURDAY...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SHOWERS. COOLER. SNOW
LEVEL 3500 FEET. PASS WINDS WEST 10 TO 15 MPH.
.SATURDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY. A CHANCE OF SHOWERS. SNOW LEVEL 3000
FEET. PASS WINDS SOUTH 10 TO 15 MPH.
.SUNDAY...SNOW SHOWERS. SNOW LEVEL 2500 FEET...LOWERING TO 2000 FEET
IN THE AFTERNOON. PASS WINDS SOUTH 10 TO 15 MPH.
.SUNDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS. SNOW
LEVEL 1500 FEET.
.MONDAY...PARTLY CLOUDY WITH A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS. SNOW
LEVEL 2000 FEET.
.MONDAY NIGHT...PARTLY CLOUDY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 4500 FEET.
.TUESDAY...PARTLY SUNNY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 6000 FEET.
.TUESDAY NIGHT...PARTLY CLOUDY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 7000 FEET.
.WEDNESDAY...PARTLY SUNNY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 8000 FEET.
.WEDNESDAY NIGHT...PARTLY CLOUDY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 9000 FEET.
.THURSDAY...PARTLY SUNNY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 9000 FEET.

&&
TEMPERATURE / PRECIPITATION
GOVERNMENT CAMP 38 27 32 26 28 / 90 60 70 40 90
WILLAMETTE PASS 39 25 34 25 28 / 40 60 40 40 70


Shit, I did it. Ok what do we have? Looks like we may get a few inches. Meadows seems to be opening. Hmmmm are you thinking what I am thinking? That's right, it's time to ski the trees! And by trees I mean the tops of those poor little 24" trees that are still sticking up through the pathetic snow pack. But what the hell, the skis are trashed anyway. See you on the slopes.

Jokes of the Day:

How many Telemarkers does it take to change a lightbulb?
50, each to turn once and then fall down.
How many ALpiners does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they're afraid of change and prefer to stay in the dark
What does a Vacuum and a Snowboard have in common?
They both have dirtbags attached!!!

Be safe out there

SC

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Dear Dear Margi,

Apparently you do not read the snow reports close enough, and you have no respect for the rules set forth upon being registered to the SC list. First off, you have broken the cardinal rule, of accusing the Snow Curmudgeon of being wrong. I said I was no Matt Zaphino, therefore I am not Matt Zaphino. I have also mentoned in prior reports that Matt Zaphino can't forecast the weather, as anyone who actually reads the NOAA forcasts and his forcasts knows. He doesn't know squat. If he did read the NOAA forcasts with anything resembling the zeal of the SC he would be a better forcaster. Fianally, as you should know if you truly are a tele skier, that having the opinion that snowboarders are knuckledraggin punks is actually a common opinion accepted by just about everyone who doesn't snow board, and even some of those that do. So really the question is, is Margi just a poser? Do you really appreciate the Snow Curmudgeon like you claim or are you a bandwagon hopper, looking to cast doubt at the first sign of a disagreeable snow pack? Do you really even ski, as your insights into the world of glisse are, frankly, passe'. Yes my fellow readers of the Snow Curmudgeon, I think the only one doing any duping around here is named Margi. And besides, how dare you suggest that I am a short balding guy with a big nose?!?!?!?!

It has taken insults to rouse the Snow Curmudgeon from his depths of depression. It was revealed yesterday that a study has shown January 24th to be the most depressing day of the year. Coming in to work in the morning I doubted their results. (to show I am not makign things up Margi here is the link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6847012/) However looking at the photos I saw online shortly there after had me understanding it all so much better. I have attached them, but be warned friends, these are not for the meek or timid, or season pass holder for that matter. Oh and to make it worse, when I got home I found in my mailbox what is ussually this time of year a joy, but yesterday a depressing kick in the balls. It was the most recent copy of Off-Piste mag, my favorite, ussually, except when it it loaded with beautiful picks of fresh snow and sick lines. Sigggghhhh.

As for the forcast, whatever. I quit, give up, I am done. I don't care anymore. Yeah maybe it will snow this week, big deal. It'll all just melt again, just like it always does. You want to know? look it up yourself,
www.weather.gov

Crawling back under a rock,

The snow curmudgeon

P.S. The Snow Curmudgeon list is the sole property of the Snow Curmudgeon, replying all to a Snow Curmudgeon list can be grounds for dismissal from the service, thank you, have a nice day.


Comment from Margi:
Dear fellow snow-lovers:

Could it be that Matt Zaphino IS the Snow Curmudgeon?
Something fishy is going on.

I met Matt Zaphino last night at a fundraiser. (No,
I’m not kidding.). Come to find out, Zaphino is an
avid telemarker. (Seriously.) Zaphino was quick to
tout tele-skiing as the highest form of all snow
sports, followed by remarks about snowboarders being
“knuckle-draggers” and “punks." As he stood in front
of me, disparaging snowboarders and damning the
snow-gods, I couldn’t help but think that he must be
the real Snow Curmudgeon.

I know, I know, Tree said that the Snow Curmudgeon
could NEVER be compared to Matt Zaphino...but hear me
out. I think there is a good argument that Zaphino
and the S.C. are one in the same. See, during the day
Zaphino plays the part of a weather man. He delivers
all of his “cheery” news to the TV watchers that we’ll
have more sun and more warm weather this winter.
(Yea! Life is great!). During the night, he becomes
the Snow Curmudgeon. He lets all of his pent-up
weather-man aggression out and delivers the REAL
weather news to his dedicated followers. (Where is
the #$## snow!). Can't you see it? Both Zaphino and
the S.C. have an innate sense of weather conditions,
an addiction to NOAA reports and a steadfast belief
that snowboarders are the scum of the earth. As Snow
Curmudgeon Disciples, I believe we’ve all been duped.

So who wants to go water skiing in Meadows parking lot
this weekend? - Margi

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Just when we thought a 30" base was the worst thing ever, it rains 5". The snow phone this morning said they are suspending operations until the snowpack "dries out", that it is over-saturated with water. WTF!!!! I have never heard such a lame excuse before in my life. Hello meadows, it's not saturated, it's melting!!! That's what 45 degree weather does to snow. WHo are these clowns. Are they from Texas? Yeah I'm oversturated too, from beer and tears. I've had it. Good bye my firends, I am taking Meadows lead and suspending all operations until conditions improve. Looks like I may have to go back to playing ultimate on the weekends.

Until the snow level drops below Hell,

SC

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Greetings all,

I have to admit, I was feeling bad about what I said about going to Bend yesterday. Our friends from Texas are heading there for a nice three day weekend, and wouldn't it be nice if they could have some snow. So I got to thinking, everyone is telling me I blow a lot of hot air, so what if.... Well I have been huffin and puffin all day long, trying to alter these dang air currents. I also made some well placed calls, cashed in a few favors that ol JC himself owes me from back in the day, and while I can't promise anything yet, it is starting to look like there just may be some snow this weekend. Might, I say, it is iffy and I can't put my SC rep. on the line. Let's just say that JC don't carry the kind of pull he used to, with the recent bankruptcies and the IPO, it's tough, but he's doing what he can. The down side is I made it all windy on Hood and this snow that's falling is all over the place, and it was a cold day for anyone up there today, gusts over 50mph brrrr. But we got something around 7" in the past day, not bad. But zero on the windward side of slopes (read vista express) yet maybe more on the lee slopes (read Shooting star)

I'll keep you posted on the developing changes as they come.

Keeping the Faith

SC

Monday, January 10, 2005

Happy Monday skiers and Boarders! i though the best way to review my weekend was to share with you all my thank you letter to the fine folks at Meadows:

Dear Meadows Incorporated:


I wanted to take a moment to thank you for letting me utilize your wonderful facilities this weekend. I was a guest at your resort on both Saturday January 8, and Sunday January 9, 2005. It was a joy to be invited to park in your Hood River Meadows overflow parking lot at 8:30 in the morning. It was too bad the lift was not running to take people the 700’ to the main area, yet I appreciate the complimentary shuttle buses provided by your resort. And to think we only had to wait in line for three buses to fill up to get taken up to the lodge so we could wait in traffic while other cars were allowed to park walking distance to the lodge. I also want to congratulate you on getting the annex lot plowed by 10am that morning, what a feat! Getting three inches of fresh snow plowed before noon at a ski resort, an accomplishment only rivaled by the chores of Hercules, you must be proud. I also wanted to take a moment to congratulate you on the placement of your new high-speed quad, Vista Express. It unloads skiers and boarders at an extremely well placed area, every time I was able to ride that lift there was the nicest breeze of 20-25 mph with only the occasional gust every second or so of 45mph, what a delight to not just be able to ski the finest 15 degree slopes on the mountain with a couple thousand boarders, but to enjoy fresh mountain air and to see clouds from the inside! A truly magical experience.

However my most memorable experience of the weekend was being able to witness ski racing at Shooting star. I commend you on your willingness to dedicate half the skiable terrain on shooting star to such young and polite skiers. Allowing them to develop their ability to bomb down a mountain at breakneck speeds with no concern for other’s safety is truly a community service, yet you went even further by turning your head and allowing them to cut in lift lines so that they could best utilize the day. Bravo! A deed to make any Little Lebowski Urban Achiever proud.

I look forward to visiting your resort and skiing your ample snow again.

Yours truly,


Snow Curmudgeon.


And of Course the forcast: (in a word, crap, move to Tahoe! 19', yes feet, in two weeks)

.TODAY...PARTLY SUNNY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 3000 FEET. PASS
WINDS SOUTHEAST 10 TO 15 MPH.
.TONIGHT...PARTLY CLOUDY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 2500 FEET IN THE
NORTH... FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 4000 FEET IN THE SOUTH. PASS WINDS
EAST 10 MPH.
.TUESDAY...PARTLY SUNNY. WINDY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 4000 FEET.
PASS WINDS NORTHWEST 10 TO 15 MPH BECOMING WEST 15 TO 25 MPH IN THE
AFTERNOON.
.TUESDAY NIGHT...SNOW LIKELY EARLY...THEN SNOW AFTER MIDNIGHT.
WINDY. SNOW LEVEL 2500 FEET. PASS WINDS WEST 20 TO 30 MPH GUSTS TO 55
MPH OVER THE RIDGES.
.WEDNESDAY...SNOW IN THE MORNING...THEN OCCASIONAL SNOW IN THE
AFTERNOON. WINDY. SNOW LEVEL 2000 FEET. PASS WINDS NORTHWEST 20 TO 30
MPH GUSTS TO 55 MPH OVER THE RIDGES.
.WEDNESDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS. SNOW
LEVEL 2000 FEET IN THE EVENING.
.THURSDAY...PARTLY SUNNY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 2500 FEET.
.THURSDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLEAR. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 3000 FEET.
.FRIDAY...MOSTLY SUNNY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 3000 FEET.
.FRIDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLEAR. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 3500 FEET.
.SATURDAY...MOSTLY SUNNY. WARMER. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 5500 FEET.
.SATURDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLEAR. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 6500 FEET.
.SUNDAY...MOSTLY SUNNY. FREE AIR FREEZING LEVEL 6500 FEET.

&&
TEMPERATURE / PRECIPITATION
GOVERNMENT CAMP 30 19 29 25 30 / 10 10 10 90 90
WILLAMETTE PASS 27 18 27 23 29 / 10 10 10 60 80

Friday, January 07, 2005

It is a good morning my faithful friends!!!! And hopefully (keep your fingers crossed) it will be a better one tomorrow.

Most of you know Bart from the snow report, aka Bingen Bart (because he lives in Bingen not because he drinks, although he may, I don't know him personally)so I thought I would quote him this morning:

"Two of my favorite words are snow and advisory, especially when used together"

Amen Bart

AT 5400' there is a base of 30.07" and they got 1.5-2" last night. Nothing special but check below:

...SNOW ADVISORY CONTINUES NORTH THROUGH 8 AM SATURDAY...
...SNOW ADVISORY SOUTH TODAY THROUGH 8 AM SATURDAY...

.TODAY...SNOW LIKELY EARLY...THEN SNOW AT TIMES. SNOW LEVEL 1500
FEET. SNOW ACCUMULATION OF 2 TO 5 INCHES. PASS WINDS SOUTH 10 TO 15
MPH.
.TONIGHT...SNOW EARLY...THEN SNOW SHOWERS AFTER MIDNIGHT. BREEZY.
SNOW ACCUMULATION OF 4 TO 7 INCHES. PASS WINDS SOUTHEAST 10 TO 20
MPH.
.SATURDAY...SNOW SHOWERS LIKELY. SNOW ACCUMULATION 2 TO 5 INCHES.
PASS WINDS SOUTHEAST TO 10 MPH.
.SATURDAY NIGHT...SNOW SHOWERS LIKELY. SNOW LEVEL 1500 FEET. PASS
WINDS SOUTHEAST 10 TO 15 MPH.
.SUNDAY...CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS. SNOW LEVEL 1500
FEET. PASS WINDS SOUTH 10 MPH.
.SUNDAY NIGHT...CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS.
.MONDAY...SNOW SHOWERS LIKELY.
.MONDAY NIGHT...SNOW SHOWERS LIKELY.
.TUESDAY...SNOW SHOWERS LIKELY. WINDY.
.TUESDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS. WINDY.
.WEDNESDAY...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS.
.WEDNESDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS.
.THURSDAY...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS.

Ye-haw!

It was nice to see some of the SnowCurmudgeonites out at the Horse Brass, but where was Bro-man? He was hysterical yesterday morning! I miss him!

Yeah, so my past few reports have lost some zing, sorry, I haven't skied in five days, I have no more new material. I thought about some driving comments, like SUV's flipped in a ditch, but that's not funny, it's sad really. Or I can keep mocking SNowboarders, but like jokes about Paige's age, it'll get pretty damn old. Get it? Paige? Old? Ohhhhhh man I got nothing. I'm that guy with the annoying voice who is now doing the Aflac commercials, only I don't even have that to look forward to. I hope I don't become the next Pee Wee Herman. Such scary times these days are, the SNow Curmudgeon is scared and lonely. Hey anyone want to go see a movie at the Theatre on Division by the Egyptian Room?

See you on the mountain this weekend, I'll be the one heckling you from the lift!

Snow Curmudgeon

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Afternoon skiers and snow boarders, thanks for reading the Snow Report, brought to you by the Snow Curmudgeon of Portland, dashing all your hopes and dreams of good snow.

A special Happy Birthday goes out to our faithful reader Daniel Sigman, he celebrates the completion of his 30th year today, and embarks on his 31st! So in Daniel's honor I will not poke any fun at him at all in todays report. Actually getting up at 7am for breakfast used all my humor, and now I really am curmudgeony. Grrrrrrr.

I wanted to share with you all that I bought some new ski tuning tools yesterday to sharpen my edges, and fill in my gouges. I may be starting a ski and board tuning service to raise funds for a snow curmudgeon website. Stay tuned (get it, tuned...)for the details. But it won't be my fault if I take the edge off your board and you can't go boarding ;)

Clear skies are gonna cloud up, put on a happy face!
I have to admit, I have never been happier to see gray clouds, and feel cold rain drops on my face, even if just a few, lets hope it is a harbringer of good news. This a little snippet wich doesn't make it look fantastic:

A SHORT WAVE DROPS SOUTH FROM THE ALASKA PANHANDLE FORMING A CLOSED LOW OFF THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST COAST BY FRIDAY MORNING. ASSOCIATED ONSHORE
FLOW STREAMS PACIFIC MOISTURE INTO CALIFORNIA PRODUCING MODERATE TO HEAVY RAIN ALONG THE COASTAL RANGE AND MODERATE TO HEAVY SNOW OVER THE SIERRAS STARTING BY TOMORROW MORNING THROUGH TO THE END OF THE PERIOD. WHILE THE MOISTURE MOVES FARTHER INLAND ... UPPER LEVEL DYNAMICS AIDS IN PRODUCING LIGHT SNOW FROM THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST COAST SOUTHEASTWARD TO THE CENTRAL GREAT BASIN AND CENTRAL ROCKIES.

But checking in with NOAA gives us this outlok for the next couple days and onward. Not bad it will help to build that base we have been hoping for. Saturday may be good, IF it snows, but we've been burned all winter long, so we shall see. Currently it is 24 degrees at meadows, reporting a trace of percipitation falling (.04") in the past hour.

...SNOW ADVISORY IN EFFECT UNTIL 8 AM FRIDAY FOR THE NORTH OREGON
CASCADES...

.TODAY...CHANCE OF SNOW THIS MORNING. SNOW LIKELY IN THE AFTERNOON.
SNOW LEVEL 1000 FEET NORTH TO 1500 FEET SOUTH BY AFTERNOON. PASS
WINDS SOUTHWEST 10 TO 15 MPH.
.TONIGHT...SNOW AT TIMES. SNOW LEVEL 1000 FEET NORTH TO 1500 FEET
SOUTH. SNOW ACCUMULATION 1 TO 3 INCHES AT HIGHER ELEVATIONS. PASS
WINDS SOUTHEAST 10 TO 15 MPH.
.FRIDAY...SNOW AT TIMES. ADDITIONAL SNOW ACCUMULATION 2 TO 3 INCHES
ABOVE 1000 FEET. PASS WINDS SOUTHEAST 10 TO 15 MPH.
.FRIDAY NIGHT...SNOW LIKELY. PASS WINDS SOUTHEAST 15 TO 20 MPH.
.SATURDAY...SNOW SHOWERS LIKELY. PASS WINDS SOUTHEAST 10 MPH.
.SATURDAY NIGHT...SNOW SHOWERS LIKELY.
.SUNDAY...CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS.
.SUNDAY NIGHT...CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS.
.MONDAY...SNOW LIKELY.
.MONDAY NIGHT...SNOW SHOWERS LIKELY.
.TUESDAY...CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS.
.TUESDAY NIGHT...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS.
.WEDNESDAY...MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SNOW SHOWERS.

Well that is all I got. I will keep you posted to any changes.

Snow Curmudgeon

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Good Morning faithful disciples,

Wow, the Snow Curmudgeon has never felt so loved! Thank you kindly Kim for the recommendation and acknowledgment of my vast Snow Knowledge, or sknowledge as you Southerners would say in your quaint speak. And last night I got the nicest message from Daniel (at least I think it was Daniel, if he was trying to immitate my scotish-mexican accent) saying he was looking forward to my forcast. And of course Darling Tree was asking me lastnight for inside info.

Don't worry friends, I didn't give any of them any special treatment, or insight. I understand the power of knowledge and how some use it to corrupt. Snow is pure goodness and I would never allow that goodness to be used for evil doings. I can only prevent that by giving you all the same knowledge, keep the field level you know.

First let me start by letting you all know that Matt Zephino is an Evil little man (they make him look big on TV by putting a map behind him, he's really small, like Daniel, about 5' 6"). And his evilness has blinded him from seing the real forcast, please be careful with what he says, because he is a TV PERSONALITY, not a Climatologist. (ok I am not a climatologist either, and really just a personality, and a made up one at that, but stop splitting hairs). Ok where was I, I just get so carried away (with the use of Parenthesis that is).

Oh yes the forecast, well I haven't sent one out because, well, it is sunny and cold, didn't think it really warrented much, just look out the window man! I know, I know, you all want to know my opinion on the possibilty of snow on the valley floor. I say don't count on it. Come on, hell can't freeze over every time Daniel get's a year older, can it? Look at it this way, most people get their weather from the Media, the media are all just a bunch of whores selling advertisement space, so they need news that sells, and Snow on the valley floor sells more than 38 degress and raining.

The real important issue here is when will precip hit the mountains and how much will come, it is all about skiing afterall. And these answers I do not have yet, the storm is heading in to Vancouver Island, and then heading South along the coast, where along the coast it tracks will answer all above questions. If it tracks inland, it will bring more warm moisture with it, meaning more precip and warmer temps- good for skiing bad for snow in town. If it hangs off the coast this cold trough from Alaska will hang around making it colder but drier, bad for skiing, good for snow in town.

You all know what I am rooting for! Back to work for SC, 12 hours until Mountaineer kicks some butt in a sleeveless shirt.

Lets all go ski this weekend!!!

Snow Curmudgeon

Monday, January 03, 2005

Happy New Year Faithful Snow Worshipers!!!!

Well, as is their custom as of late, the good old folks at NOAA managed to overestimate their storm total estimates. In summation, the base is still pretty thin, but coverage is getting there. The next three days look like clear cold weather, this will result in some settling of the snow pack, and with forcasted winds, it will transport recent deposits into tree lines and gullies (hint on where to find the stashes). Right now the forcast looks like potential for some fresh come this weekend, yeah right, and I have a hot date this weekend too!

Thanks to Kim and Brian, fathful Snow Curmudgeopn readers, for opening their house for a little new years festivities, and especially for allowing old Snow Curmudgeon some PPT (puppy play time!!)

I am sure the question on everyone's mind is what the Snow Curmudgeon's new years resolution is? Well I will tell you, sort of. I actually had a new ski season's resolution. Equality! Yes I came into this season with the resolution to treat all fellow snow sliders equally, and to open my heart and arms to all, freelheelers, fixed heelers, and yes even the Snow Boarders. I kid you not. I had resolved myself to it. Well I spent the last four days riding the lifts, and let me tell you, it is damn hard!!! I have to come to the conclusion that not all Snowboarders are dumb people, but all dumb people are snowboarders! And there are a lot of dumb people out there. "Now hold on there Snow Curmudgeon" you may be thinking, "that's a little harsh statement, what basis do you have" And that is a good point, and one I have been pondering, is it just a cultural gap, am I a little too much of an old "hippy" on skis and just don't relate to the new generation? Maybe, but allow me to present my case. Exhibit A: Newest phrase heard on the mountain: "Gnar Gnar" like: "there's some Gnar Gnar under that powder" and yes it was only heard coming from a Snow Boarder. Exhibit B: Try getting off a lift with out getting cut off by a snow boarder, having twenty snowboarders sitting on their buts in the MIDDLE of the run strapping in, or getting up right infront of you and riding over your tips. It's impossible I tried all weekend. Exhibit C: WHat percentage of people that cut me off or came within 12" of colliding into me were snowboarders: a. 50% b. 75% c.100% (correct answer is c) Exhibit D: When sitting in the parking lot, loud music is always coming from a car of _____ (answer: snowboarders) I have more evidence but I think I will rest my case there. I will say though that not all boarders are bad, heck of the 5 people on this list 3.5 snowboard, and you are all my friends, just don't cut me off, stop riding over my tips, and for crying out lound Daniel turn down that James Taylor!!

See you all on the hill...

Snow Curmudgeon