Monday, December 12, 2005

Loss of Faith

In these Holiest of Days, we are oft reminded of the magnificence and beauty of God, and all the miracles which he has created. Well God, it is time to wake up and get to work, because you are losing one of your flock. Ok I was never really one of the flock, more a wolf in sheep's clothing, ok, ok I 'm not even in sheep's clothing. I am a blasphemer, but still, there are plenty of God loving/fearing people on snow, why can't God step up to the plate for them? It has always been my plan to use a loophole in religion to ensure myself entrance into the life eternal above. See, I figured that as long as someone who loves me is a good Christian their Heaven will be incomplete without me, so for them to truly be in heaven I must be there. Hence my Mother is my one-way ticket to the great beyond, where everyone Tele's and there's waist deep powder every run with no lift lines. But in the mean time I have been relying on all the rest of the good Christians out there to be sure God treats us right and ensures an ample supply of the pow pow to get me through this lifetime. So what gives? Who's f'n up out there? Whoever you are, you better get cracking.


Enough proselytizing, what's up with the snow? Well for those of you living in a shell, we have been experiencing the dreaded INVERSION. This weird phenomena here in the lower Willamette Valley where these clear nights, cloudy mornings and the cold desert air blowing through the Gorge manage to keep it colder in town than up in the mountains. With this in mind old SC headed up to the BC to hunt some stashes of powder and earn some turns. Was I successful? You bet. I found a nice N exposure cut that has some cold fresh powder waiting for me. The only downside is when I got to the sno park, my worst nightmare ever was realized. There were two sledheads there, and we all know I hate snowmobiles more than anything. But to make it even worse, they were loading SNOWBOARDS! Why does God continue to punish me, oh that's right I am a blasphemer, so much for my loophole. Well besides the fact that these lazy ass mofos needed their sleds to make the approx. 1 mile hike in, and that they sno-shoed all over the nice skin track making me lay a new one, it was a nice day skiing. Oh that's right, I also had to deal with hearing that crappy music that Meadows plays at the base of Vista. Has anyone else noticed how bad that music is? It is like some 80's soft rock music my Mom (bless her for loving me) listens to. Yet I digress, or forget what I am saying. Oh it was a good time. Oh yeah, I skied to about 1pm when the snow started softening as the inversion continued to spread, and I could see Meadows in full sun, meaning all fresh snow was pretty much gone. I did also go up on Sunday, and actually had a great time skiing. Once it warmed up, the snow softened nicely, and it was like skiing in May. Heather was open and I got my first official* Heather runs in two years. The downside: It is December and NOT MAY. It should be snowing. I don't care if Danimal says no more complaining about snow, there is still no real precip in the forecast. I am pissed. Period. Oh and to make matters worse the inversion is passing on so it will be nothing but frozen snow on the mountain until we get some precip. Maybe on Sunday. Whatever, I have lost faith in these weather barons. I expected that sacrifice to last a little longer. Hmm, maybe Zaphino wasn't enough, anyone know how to get a hold of Al Roker?



Start praying,




*I hiked into heather last year for some unofficial runs, shh don't tell meadows.