Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Dear Dear Margi,

Apparently you do not read the snow reports close enough, and you have no respect for the rules set forth upon being registered to the SC list. First off, you have broken the cardinal rule, of accusing the Snow Curmudgeon of being wrong. I said I was no Matt Zaphino, therefore I am not Matt Zaphino. I have also mentoned in prior reports that Matt Zaphino can't forecast the weather, as anyone who actually reads the NOAA forcasts and his forcasts knows. He doesn't know squat. If he did read the NOAA forcasts with anything resembling the zeal of the SC he would be a better forcaster. Fianally, as you should know if you truly are a tele skier, that having the opinion that snowboarders are knuckledraggin punks is actually a common opinion accepted by just about everyone who doesn't snow board, and even some of those that do. So really the question is, is Margi just a poser? Do you really appreciate the Snow Curmudgeon like you claim or are you a bandwagon hopper, looking to cast doubt at the first sign of a disagreeable snow pack? Do you really even ski, as your insights into the world of glisse are, frankly, passe'. Yes my fellow readers of the Snow Curmudgeon, I think the only one doing any duping around here is named Margi. And besides, how dare you suggest that I am a short balding guy with a big nose?!?!?!?!

It has taken insults to rouse the Snow Curmudgeon from his depths of depression. It was revealed yesterday that a study has shown January 24th to be the most depressing day of the year. Coming in to work in the morning I doubted their results. (to show I am not makign things up Margi here is the link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6847012/) However looking at the photos I saw online shortly there after had me understanding it all so much better. I have attached them, but be warned friends, these are not for the meek or timid, or season pass holder for that matter. Oh and to make it worse, when I got home I found in my mailbox what is ussually this time of year a joy, but yesterday a depressing kick in the balls. It was the most recent copy of Off-Piste mag, my favorite, ussually, except when it it loaded with beautiful picks of fresh snow and sick lines. Sigggghhhh.

As for the forcast, whatever. I quit, give up, I am done. I don't care anymore. Yeah maybe it will snow this week, big deal. It'll all just melt again, just like it always does. You want to know? look it up yourself,

Crawling back under a rock,

The snow curmudgeon

P.S. The Snow Curmudgeon list is the sole property of the Snow Curmudgeon, replying all to a Snow Curmudgeon list can be grounds for dismissal from the service, thank you, have a nice day.

Comment from Margi:
Dear fellow snow-lovers:

Could it be that Matt Zaphino IS the Snow Curmudgeon?
Something fishy is going on.

I met Matt Zaphino last night at a fundraiser. (No,
I’m not kidding.). Come to find out, Zaphino is an
avid telemarker. (Seriously.) Zaphino was quick to
tout tele-skiing as the highest form of all snow
sports, followed by remarks about snowboarders being
“knuckle-draggers” and “punks." As he stood in front
of me, disparaging snowboarders and damning the
snow-gods, I couldn’t help but think that he must be
the real Snow Curmudgeon.

I know, I know, Tree said that the Snow Curmudgeon
could NEVER be compared to Matt Zaphino...but hear me
out. I think there is a good argument that Zaphino
and the S.C. are one in the same. See, during the day
Zaphino plays the part of a weather man. He delivers
all of his “cheery” news to the TV watchers that we’ll
have more sun and more warm weather this winter.
(Yea! Life is great!). During the night, he becomes
the Snow Curmudgeon. He lets all of his pent-up
weather-man aggression out and delivers the REAL
weather news to his dedicated followers. (Where is
the #$## snow!). Can't you see it? Both Zaphino and
the S.C. have an innate sense of weather conditions,
an addiction to NOAA reports and a steadfast belief
that snowboarders are the scum of the earth. As Snow
Curmudgeon Disciples, I believe we’ve all been duped.

So who wants to go water skiing in Meadows parking lot
this weekend? - Margi